Fiddler On The Roof: Song Parody
Songmeister: Mike "The" Wyzard

Carnations for the orchestra. Sounds crazy, no? But here in the pit at Armstrong Theater, all the musicians got carnations, as we tried to scratch out some good tunes while enjoying the show. It isn't easy. You may ask: who do we sit down there if we can't see the stage? We stay because the pit is out place. And how do we enjoy the show? That I can tell you in two words: we're musicians!

Mu-si-cians! Musicians! Mu-si-cians! Musicians!

Because we're musicians, we've enjoyed many many shows over the years. Here in the pit, we've played music for shows like "Sugar" and "Guys and Dolls". You'll notice that we always sit between songs and we always wear black. This shows our constant devotion to Mark. You may ask: how did all of you get roped into this? I'll tell you: I don't know. But we're musicians, and because we're musicians, everyone of us know what instruments we play and what Mark expects us to play.

Who, everynight, must keep their intonation, watch the conductor, play as a group?
And who are the ones who everyone will notice if they should go out of tune?
The Strings! The Strings! Musicians!
The Strings! The Strings! Musicians!

Who must know the way to keep their place in the score even if a cue is missed?
Who must be the ones who have to stay on track so the orchestra doesn't have a train wreck?
The Rhythm! The Rhythm! Musicians!
The Rhythm! The Rhythm! Musicians!

I get to sit very close to Mark even though it hurts my neck.
And Candlesticks come down on me I think .... I'll duck!
The Woodwinds! The Woodwinds! Musicians!
The Woodwinds! The Woodwinds! Musicians!

And who gets really bad seats deep inside the pit?
This is why we leave little pools of spit.
The Brass! The Brass! Musicians!
The Brass! The Brass! Musicians!

In the semi-circle of the pit, we've always had our special types. For instance: Randy the horn player, Carlos the trumpet player, and most important of all, our beloved Debbie.

Then there are the others in the theater, who make up a much larger circle. There is his honor the director, the honorable cast, and many many others. We don't listen to them and so far, they seem to ignore us. But among ourselves, we always get along perfectly well. Of course, there was the time when he told him that the hardest song would be "The Dream", and it turned out to be "The Rumor". But now it's all over and everything is peaceful again.....and it _was_ "The Dream"
"It WAS 'The Dream'"
"It was 'The Rumor'"
Dream! Rumor! Dream! Rumor! Dream! Rumor!
Mu-si-cians! Musicians! Mu-si-cians! Musicians!

Musicians, musicians. If we hadn't been given carnations, our only compensation would have been.....THE AFTER SHOW PARTIES!!!!